Broken Walls
by universsoul
Summary: Sirius and Roxi. BFFs, right? Maybe not. After Sirius does the unthinkable, their bond has been indefinitely broken. Like Roxi's trust. Can she ever repair her walls? And will their friendship ever be built back up? K  now, may change to T later.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: I was originally thinking of posting this story when I had all the chapters done. But I love it, and wanted to share it early. This isn't completed yet, but is planned out. There are more chapters done. If it gets a good response, I'll give you more chapters.  
>And when it gets to actual chapters – these, I refer to as backstories – there will be quotes at the beginning. I'm really excited.<strong>

**Disclaimer: Me: Fred, George, do I own Harry Potter?  
>Fred: No Cati, you wish.<br>George: Who are you?  
>So there you go. Now read on!<strong>__

_"Sirius! Sirius! You'll never guess what I got!" I yelled. I'm looking for my best friend of three years, Sirius Black, and as usual can't find him. I'm starting to think he has a secret hideout or something. "Siri! I have to show you something! Where are you?" I called again. _

_A rustling in the bushes behind me made me turn around and my face break into a huge grin. "Let me guess, another football trophy? An award for MVP of the season? You're predictable, Roxi. It has to be something to do with football; you wouldn't care about anything else," Sirius answered. I rolled my eyes and showed him a letter._

"_Remember when you told me you were magic, and you'd been watching me and told me I was magic too? And I didn't believe you, so you made my football fly for ages after I'd kicked it? Well, you were right! I'm magic too! I got my Hogwarts letter in the mail and Professor McGonagall came to my house and explained everything!" I said it all in one giant breath and felt like I was going to pass out from the excitement of the last hour. 'I'm going to Hogwarts, Siri isn't leaving me, and I'm magic! I can't believe it!' was all that was going through my mind. _

"_Roxi, I told you. I'm Sirius Black; I'm always right about these things. You were silly for not believing me. I just wish I could've been there to see your face!" Sirius teased. He was always teasing me, from the moment we met. He was a person you couldn't help but get along with, though. His easily likeable personality, his inviting smile. His eyes were his best feature, in my opinion: gray, bright, and alluring. _

_His depiction of me wasn't how I would describe myself: "Roxanna Payton Traynor, you have a hot head and a temper to match. Fiery and sporty, you kind of scare me sometimes. And you know how hard I am to scare. But your eyes don't reflect the colour of your soul, which I imagine to be red. Impossible, with that colour of blue. Icy blue." He kept telling me that I should get some red colour into my hair! My hair was dark brown, so dark that it looked black when it was wet. It was naturally straight. It was my second favourite feature, after my eyes._

_"We're both going to that magic school and all you do is make fun of me? Really, Siri?" I asked, kind of surprised. He's always talked about going to Hogwarts to get away from his mad family. I thought he'd be happier about us both getting away from Grimmauld Place. But his next expression was incredulous. _

"_Roxanna, don't even joke about that. Hogwarts is not just 'that magic school'. It's an amazing place full of unknown magic just waiting to be discovered by troublemakers such as ourselves. Insulting Hogwarts is like insulting Dumbledore, the Headmaster!" I stopped him. I knew he wasn't happy when he called me Roxanna, because he knew I didn't like it. I didn't mean to bring that out. In fact, I'd rather that little rant would've stayed inside. _

"_Sorry, I didn't mean it like that. I was just saying that in passing and you started having a mini-breakdown of sorts! Can't you just be excited we're going to be at school together for seven years? Learning magic, of all things! I'm still having trouble getting my head around all this!" And I was. It was life-changing, knowing that I was a witch. I had just thought Siri was crazy when he said I was one, but this was confirming. No one in my family had magical blood! I was the first, something I loved being. My parents always said I was different and unique, but I didn't know it was so literal! _

"_You're being a drama queen, Rox. I was not having a breakdown. If I was, I'd be in St. Mungo's. I am excited! But I'm not at all surprised. I told you all this three years ago! It's not my fault you didn't believe me," He said, punching my arm playfully. I pretended to be offended, giving him a hurt look, and then laughed when he looked apologetic. _

_I tugged on his arm, motioning for him to follow me. "So, since I wasn't paying attention three years ago and thought you were a crazy person, you need to tell me about this wizarding world! Who runs it, who made Hogwarts, everything! I swear I'll listen this time. So tell me!" I made him tell me all about it as we walked towards my house, actually listening like I said I would. _

_He began to tell me what he knew of the creators of Hogwarts, and I was really interested. But mostly I was excited to see this massive castle with my own eyes, for the first time._

_"Bye, mum! Bye, dad! Bye Vanessa, I'll write you every week! Love you!" I waved goodbye to my family until we'd rounded the corner and I couldn't see them anymore. I suppressed a tear at leaving my family. I wasn't a crier. I was tough! I could handle it. It was only until Christmas. _'But you're still going to miss them,'_ my conscience told me. I had to go find Sirius. I knew I'd feel less lonely once I was with him. Trouble is, he already went to find a compartment. So I'd have to look through dozens of compartments to find one person! This could take the whole train ride, and I didn't think I was exaggerating. But I'd never been to Hogwarts so I couldn't tell._

_"Sirius? Are you in he-oh, sorry. I'm looking for someone. Sirius!" I called. I'd been on this train for ten minutes and I'd already embarrassed myself. This was not starting off well. I kept walking, just looking into compartments now. I was looking in one and walking at the same time when I felt someone run into me and we both fell. "Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry! I wasn't paying attention," I apologized. Embarrassment: 2, me: 0._

_I got a death glare from the other girl. I'm not kidding about the death part either. It was like, if looks could kill, I'd be six feet under. "Yeah, I could tell. Next time, watch your step. I don't need you to make me fall wherever I go. Let's go, Brie," They both shot me looks that could only be described as disdainful. I already had enemies here. Perfect. I had to find Sirius!_

_I kept searching, and while I was doing so I passed a red-headed girl already in her Hogwarts uniform that I nearly ran into. Seriously, what was it with me running into people today? "I'm so sorry I almost knocked you over! This seems to keep happening to me today," I apologized yet again. This girl smiled at me. "Don't worry, its okay. I'm nervous today too. It's my first time here and I'm a Muggleborn. I'm Lily Evans. And this is Severus Snape, my best friend." I looked to her right and saw a greasy, black-haired, hook-nosed boy I hadn't seen when I'd nearly knocked Lily down. "I feel the same way. It's also my first year, and I'm a Muggleborn as well. I'm Roxanna Traynor, but most people call me Roxi. With an 'i', not a 'y'. I like it better that way, and I don't like to be called Roxanna." I took a breath, realizing I'd been babbling. I really had to stop doing that!_

_"Hi, Roxi. It's really nice to meet you. I hope we're in the same House at Hogwarts. Severus here wants me to be in Slytherin. I don't know which House exactly I want to be in. Ravenclaw sounds good, as does Gryffindor," Lily said. She talked to me like I was normal; unlike those girls I'd had the pleasure of meeting earlier. Did you catch the sarcasm? "I don't know which House I'd like to be in. I haven't really thought about it. I mean, I found out on my birthday in May, but I just haven't really given it a second thought." I really hadn't. I suppose I should have, to know more about where I'd be spending the next seven years. Maybe Sirius could tell me more! Oh, where was he? "I'm actually looking for a friend at the moment, Sirius Black. Have you seen him?" I didn't know how long they'd been walking around, but I thought it couldn't hurt to ask them. "I don't know. He might have been one of those boys back in the compartment. What does he look like?" Lily asked me. Her eyes were full of contempt at the memory. Sirius had the tendency to get off on the wrong foot with people. "Er, he has curly black hair, gray eyes, whole family of Slytherins…" I thought he might have mentioned that. He wasn't proud of it, but he had told me that he was going to say that if he felt the need to. "Oh. Yes, he was in that compartment we were just in. He was quite obnoxious, if you don't mind me saying," she sniffed. I held back a grin. That was Sirius, alright. "Oh, no, I don't mind. He can definitely be obnoxious. Thank you for helping me find him. Nice to meet you!" I called over my shoulder as I ran off to find my best friend._

_"Sirius, I thought I would never find you!" I exclaimed as I burst into the compartment. I didn't expect to find others in there with him. But I could handle this. And it was a good opportunity to embarrass him, something I would _never_ pass up. "Oh, hello. I'm Roxi. I was looking for Sirius, and I seem to have found him"- I paused here to wave at him, to which he responded half-heartedly.- "Along with you fine people. So sorry to intrude. By the way, who are you?" I finished. Hey, I didn't say I was polite! "Hi. I'm James. James Potter." he added, puffing up his chest. I had to make a conscious effort not to giggle. "I'm Remus Lupin. Nice to meet you," said a seemingly shy boy with a book in his hands. He looked like someone I could get along with. So did James Puffychest Potter. The other boy looked kind of seedy, though. "I'm Peter Pettigrew," he squeaked. He reminded me of a rat. I didn't like him. First impressions, you know?_

_"Hello, James, Remus, and Peter. Pleasure to meet you. Would any of you mind if I spent the rest of the train ride here?" I asked. This was the moment of truth, so to speak. The time when they could either accept me or tell me to go away. Sirius would never let them do that, but I was still nervous. "No, we don't mind at all!" James said happily. I could tell I would definitely get along with this kid. "In fact," he added, "you could tell us all about how you and Sirius here met!" he suggested. Well, I wasn't going to say no to more potential embarrassment. "Okay!" I exclaimed. Sirius looked terrified. He wasn't easy to scare, and I was the only person who could manage to get this reaction from him. I relished the power I held. He knew what I could say, and how far it could get from the truth. "It all started when…" and I kept going off on that tangent. I figured these were new friends for him and I didn't want them to laugh at him. I made up a story that kept everyone laughing and then told them the real story, which Sirius helped with. We talked and laughed till we got to the station. We were met by a gigantic man called Hagrid, who guided us all into boats. There were only four to a boat and Sirius got into one with the other boys. I wasn't offended. I found Lily and Snape, and got into their boat. Then, we saw it. The great Hogwarts Castle, built almost a thousand years ago. It was magnificent, not at all like I pictured it. It was a nice surprise.  
>I looked over at Sirius at the exact moment he looked over at me, and I knew we were both thinking the same thing. <em>'We're going to have a life to remember at this school.'

"_Black, Sirius!"_

_I heard my best friend's name being called and looked up to the stool, where he plopped down a second later. I knew he'd hoped he wasn't going to be sorted into Slytherin. I was hoping he got his wish._

_A moment later, he did._

_"GRYFFINDOR!" The Sorting Hat cried. There was applause, of course, but the majority was looks of shock from everyone, especially the Slytherin table. The stereotype he had warned me about was true, then. Everyone did expect Blacks to end up in Slytherin. I was proud of my friend for breaking that mould._

_"Evans, Lily!_

_My new friend! I wondered where she'd be put. She did say Ravenclaw had sounded acceptable. I knew Snape wanted her to be in Slytherin. From what I saw, they didn't seem like a pleasant bunch._

_"GRYFFINDOR!" was shouted so fast I could hardly believe it. Snape didn't sound too happy – he actually groaned. Lily seemed content enough; though shot Snape a sad smile. I watched her as the next name was called. She walked down to the table and saw Sirius. I guess she recognized him from the train, and gave him a disdainful look like the two mean girls had given me earlier._

_"Krissian, Brianna!"_

_Speaking of mean girls…_

_This wasn't the one that had run into me. This was the other one. This one – Brianna, was her name – had sandy brown hair. She looked sweet, if you hadn't seen the look I had received earlier._

_"SLYTHERIN!" The Sorting Hat shouted. She flounced off to their table, watching for her friend. The meaner one, whose name I didn't know._

_"Lamarre, Santana!"_

_Now I did._

_This was the girl who I had apparently knocked down. The rude one. The one who had given me a glare that could freeze fire. Oh, joy. I was desperately hoping that whatever House I got, it wasn't hers._

_The Hat took time to deliberate (personally I was surprised it didn't automatically pick Slytherin) but it finally picked a House for her. "RAVENCLAW!" was called out. I saw Santana glance at Brianna, then walk over to her table._

_Others were called up as time went on. James, Remus, and Peter all went to Gryffindor. I wasn't surprised at its choice for James, but I thought that Remus might be in Ravenclaw and Peter might be in Hufflepuff. But evidently, the Hat saw more than they let on. Severus Snape was put into Slytherin almost right after the Hat landed on his head._

_It soon came to be my turn._

_"Traynor, Roxanna!"_

"Roxi!" _I muttered under my breath. Did I mention I didn't like it when people called me by my given name? I thought it sounded too girly. I spared a glance at Sirius, who looked amused. He knew I didn't like my name. I sat down on the stool._

_"Hmm, yes. Oh my. This could very well be one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make. Your loyalty and forgiveness are trademarks of a Hufflepuff; that could be a nice placement for you. But I sense smarts, and a thirst for knowledge. Ravenclaw wouldn't be bad either. There is a massive amount of cunning in there too; you can easily create lies and stories to tell. That's Slytherin…but there is so much bravery here. Tough, fiery, brave hearted girl…yes, Gryffindor would suit you very well." As soon as I heard 'Ravenclaw' and 'Slytherin' I thought 'oh please no, not those!' "Not those? But you'd excel in either one. No? Well, Hufflepuff may not work either…I choose GRYFFINDOR!" It yelled the last part, yelled it for the whole room to hear. I immediately looked at Sirius, whose face had broken into a huge wide smile. I felt warm from it. I took the hat off, gave it to McGonagall, and sat down beside Sirius, with Lily across from me. "Congratulations, Roxi! I'm so glad at least one of my new friends is with me!" Lily said, smiling. I smiled back and agreed. "Well, Rox, I'm not surprised you're in Gryffindor. I knew you couldn't stay away from me," Sirius teased. I rolled my eyes at him, and Lily gave him a look and scooted away, after smiling at me again. The other three boys scooted over, James looking interestedly at Lily, and we quickly turned our meal into a small party._

_The first time we've thrown a party, and certainly not the last. We were going to enjoy being at Hogwarts, I could tell._

_I was going to have the time of my life. _

**A/N: I'm really excited about this story, as I said above. Since I've been practically obsessed with reading Sirius/OC fics, I thought I'd make one of my own. And so far, I'm really pleased with how it's turning out.  
>I'd like to get about 3 reviews before I post the next chapter. Please? Oh thanks, I knew you guys would!<br>**_**~ Cati**_****


	2. Backstory 2

**AN: Quite a demand for part two of the backstory already. 3 or 4 people wanted it, and it's only been up a day (By the way, the update after this will be an actual chapter. No more backstories, no more italic)! Thank you guys soooo much. Updates usually won't be this fast, but this was pre-written and I wanted to give you something for my appreciation. Here it is!  
>Disclaimer: I own the plot, and I own Roxi, but that's it. Unless JKR decided to give me the rights … but why would she give them to a complete stranger?<strong>

****_~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~_** **

_Transfiguration was the bane of my existence. It was so difficult for me sometimes. Thank Merlin I had others to help me, others who could actually manage the assignments and didn't complain when they always had to help me. Sirius and Lily were two of these people._

_Lily had been my best girl friend and dorm mate for nearly five whole years now. We'd been practically inseparable for that whole time. The sole exceptions were the times she went off to study in secret with Severus Snape, who wasn't too bad for a Slytherin. We weren't particularly close, but we were friends through Lily. This meant that if he did something to her, that'd be the end of my friendship with him. He had his moments, however. And I knew how close they were, for almost as long as I'd been friends with Sirius. So I could appreciate this when others couldn't._

_The only other times we didn't spend together were when I was with the Marauders, as the boys had come to call themselves. On the occasions I helped them with pranks (barely getting any detentions! I was good at hiding my actions and lying, as the Sorting Hat had said back in first year.), they called me a 'Marauderette'. I liked the name, but the 'ette' was irritating. Too girly for me, like my name. Lily didn't approve of how close I was with them, but she was usually okay with it. Mostly because I put up with Snape. _

_I think Lily would have liked the Marauders a lot more if James didn't keep declaring his love for her at random times, like in the middle of breakfast to a packed Hall. I was actually really good friends with James, so I knew he liked her a lot. But he didn't listen to me when I told him to take it down a notch. I knew she was friends with Remus, him being a prefect and more studious and bookish and rule-following than the rest. I'd told James back in third year to maybe follow Remus' lead. But to no avail._

_Or maybe she'd like them if they stopped pulling pranks, getting detentions, and being generally 'obnoxious'. Her word, not mine. But I'd been doing all those things as well, and she didn't hate me. So I think it all came down to what they did and how they did it._

_**_~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~_** _

_The boys came bursting into the common room one March afternoon, making too much noise for Lily's liking. I looked up – Remus and Peter weren't there. It was just James and Sirius, and they were looking like they were prank-planning. I, naturally, wanted a part in this. "How about you keep studying for the OWLs and I'll go calm them down? I know you've gotten sick of trying," I offered._

_Lily took one look at them and nodded to me. I set down my Transfiguration notes – how I loathed the subject! – walked over to the boys._

"_All right. I want to know what's going on, and I want to know _now_," I whispered. Sirius tried – and failed – to look innocent. "What do you mean, oh dear Roxi?" I snorted. This act never worked on me, and he was well aware of that._

_"I mean, dearest Siri, that you two are going to prank someone. I want in," I got a murderous look from Sirius at the pet name and a funny look from James._

_"Actually, Rox, is it alright if you stay out of this one? You know Lily doesn't like when we prank Snape, and she hates it when you help. You're supposed to be friends with Snivellus anyway," he said apologetically. I was stunned. He'd never asked me not to be a part of one of their pranks. In fact, he usually asked if I'd help or had any ideas!_

_"You know very well that I don't mind pranking Snape. It's more fun for me than any of the others, actually! He doesn't know I have a hand in most. It makes it more fun to talk to him the next day when he's complaining about you. And most times Lily doesn't even know I'm in on it! Why can't I help?" I couldn't help whining a little._

_"Look, Roxi, just stay out of it. We'll tell you all about it later. Don't you have to study, or practice Quidditch? You know the Gryffindor versus Ravenclaw match is in a week," Sirius said._

_I despised when he tried to change the subject. Yes, I was on the team as a Chaser, but James and Sirius were on it too! James was a Chaser like me (and Captain – Merlin knows he deserved the title.) and Sirius was a Beater. And the studying excuse was a bit rich, because they should've been studying too. Plus, Siri knew I didn't care how I did in any class except Transfiguration. I was scared about failing that._

_"Sirius, you know how little I care about classes. And yeah, I want to secure that spot in the House Cup game, but you do too! I don't see you practicing every spare minute. If it means that much to you, I'll keep out of it, but what are you hiding from me?"_

_I felt hurt, because I was almost certain there was something he didn't want me to know. The two of us knew nearly everything about each other. And I had a little talent that he wasn't aware of – reading the emotion in his eyes. They held guilt right now, so he had to be keeping something from me._

"_Let's just say this prank might be a little more – drastic – than the others. We don't want you getting hurt," James intervened._

_"Can you at least tell me what you have planned?" I asked. This much they could share, right?_

_"I don't see a problem with that. What we're going to do is knock him out with a Stunning Spell, then tie him to a Gryffindor banner in the Great Hall. We want everyone to see how much he cares about the lions," James grinned._

_"But you can't tell. Or come see it in action. Because he may put up a fight, the git. And we also don't want him falling on you while we're tying him up," Sirius added. I could respect that._

_"Okay. I'll keep it a secret. Make sure Lily isn't anywhere near the action when she patrols. I don't know her route tonight. Also make sure Remus keeps her away." They were never careful enough, so I added that extra warning and bade them goodbye. I needed sleep, and I knew Lily needed a nap before her shift._

_"Hey Lils, let's go get some sleep before you have to be all prefect-y and stuff," I yawned. She agreed, gathering her notes, and followed me up the stairs._

_"Oh, Roxi, did you find out what the boys were doing?" she asked._

_I hid a grin and answered, "They weren't doing anything. Just talking." Their joke would be amazing to see the next morning._

_**_~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~_** _

_I walked into the common room after giving the Fat Lady the password ("Thestrals!") and immediately heard yelling. I knew that voice. Oh no, what had Sirius done now?_

_"…completely careless! He could have died, Sirius, do you realize that? Do you know how -" Here James' voice faltered. "- he -" (James whispered this.) "Would have felt if he had killed him? You know that's his one big fear! And do you know how I feel about saving him? I usually wouldn't, but this was something my best mate had done!" _

_So far all I'd gotten out of this was that Sirius had nearly killed someone, that the killer would have felt awful about it, and that James had saved the victim but didn't like it. It didn't make any sense to me. Where was Remus? He could usually calm them down. He had that effect. _

_"James -"_

_"No, Sirius, you went too far this time! Roxi was right last night, you were hiding something! Were you actually planning that instead of our prank?"_

_Whoa, now I was being mentioned? That must mean I was right! Strangely, I didn't feel good about it. I needed to hear more. "Say something else!" I muttered. And they did._

_"I wasn't planning it! I just happened to meet him on his own down a corridor. He took his wand out right away. I was thinking to myself 'Relax, Snivellus, I'm not going to do anything right now.' But he was so determined to hex me that I got angry. So I told him what he could do to … you know. I didn't think he'd actually use it – you know he doesn't trust us! It's not my fault he was a stupid git as usual."_

_So Snape was the victim! One of Lily's best friends. I could imagine why James was so unhappy. But didn't he say he'd saved Snape?_

_I was so lost that I had to say something._

_"I'm confused. I thought you said you'd saved him, James. And Lily would thank you for that. So why are you two fighting?" I asked, revealing that I'd been eavesdropping. Sirius gave me an incredulous, angry look. James looked angry too. But not at me. _

_"I'm angry because Sirius gave Snivellus information that nearly got the latter killed, and Sirius didn't do anything about it. He came and told me, and then I ran to go tell Snape. Ended up saving his life. Something I hadn't ever planned on doing for my enemy. You can't tell me you'd feel overjoyed about saving Santana? This is the same thing, only Lily wouldn't nearly kill her then not care," He spoke of Lily tenderly._

_True. I'd hate helping Santana in any way. She and I were sworn enemies. This was why I was so looking forward to the upcoming Quidditch match. I'd be able to show her that I could beat her, since she was a Chaser on the Ravenclaw team._

_I'm sorry, I'm sorry; I need to focus on the present issue. _

_"That is true, James. But as much as both Lily and I … despise … Santana, neither of us would try to actually kill her." 'On purpose, anyway,' I added under my breath. "Sirius, what were you thinking?"_

_"I was just thinking it'd be a good laugh. I'm not a murderer; I never will be. I can guarantee you that. It was supposed to be a joke. I'll apologize to him, since it was my fault. Can we just agree to forgive and forget? I'm sorry."_

_He did look apologetic. And he knew that he'd nearly gotten Snape hurt – or worse, killed. He probably even knew that if Dumbledore wasn't so lenient with the Marauders sometimes he would be expelled. All he'd gotten was a months worth of detentions. _

_And there was the fact that I forgave him easily for most things. Only once had I really held a grudge against him, in third year. I was talking to him again after a month. So in a way, resistance was futile. _

_James was clearly thinking the same thing._

_"Okay. You're forgiven. But only because you're my best mate and the rest of school would be rotten without you," he conceded. Sirius thanked him then turned to look at me._

_"Rox, do you –"_

_"Why do you need me to forgive you? This is a problem between you two, I just happened to join the conversation. You're off the hook with me, since I don't know the whole story. And even though I want to know, I won't ask. So go find the guy and apologize to him for whatever it was. I'm off," I waved, and then headed up the girls' staircase, curiosity brewing._

_I. Would. Not. Ask._

_And yeah, I kind of understood why he needed my forgiveness. He knew I'd heard that he'd nearly killed someone – unintentionally, but he still did it. But if it didn't concern me, I didn't need to interfere._

_It was more of a want to interfere._

_If I knew myself, I knew that wasn't my last say on the subject. I'd know about it soon enough. Sirius was my friend, and he couldn't hide things from me very well. I always got the truth out of him somehow. I knew he would tell me, and he knew he could tell me. We trusted each other with all our secrets._

_He knew my fears; getting hurt so badly that I couldn't play Quidditch ever again. A friend turning on me and becoming my worst enemy. A dangerous creature killing me. Spiders, and when I found out about them, Acromantula. I mean come on, those things are terrifying!_

_I also knew his worries. He was scared of commitment, which was why he only had a girl on his arm for about a week before he broke up with her and moved on to the next one. He was terrified of Thestrals, and in extent, death. Sirius was brave, so he wasn't afraid of much else._

_I trusted that boy with my life._

_**_~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~_**_

_I exited the Great Hall after the Defence Against the Dark Arts OWL with Lily and some friends of ours, chattering about the exam._

_"I thought that question about the Kappas was easy, but the one about the Grindylows really confused me. I don't think I got that one right, but other than that and some other ones, I thought I did really well. How about you, Roxi?" Lily asked me._

_"Well, I got stuck at the Boggart question for a little while before I remembered what the answer was. I thought the exam as a whole was pretty easy," I replied._

_Our group kept walking till we reached the edge of the lake, still talking. A couple girls took off their socks and shoes and rolled up their robes, walking into the cool water. Lily and I had moved our conversation from the OWL to her conversation with Snape the night before._

_"- and then he said that Avery and Mulciber were talking about an attack that had happened on a Hufflepuff Muggleborn's family that hadn't been reported in the Prophet. Apparently they wouldn't give information about the wizard in their family, so they got tortured. It's horrible how that can happen, isn't it? Especially to innocent people," Lily shook her head sadly._

_"Yeah, it is." I looked away, hoping the family was okay. Something by the beech tree caught my eye. "Hey Lils, it's Snape! And the Marauders. Oh, this can't be good," I groaned. Nothing good ever happened when the boys were facing off._

_"What?" She looked to see what I was talking about. It was the five boys. James shouted a spell at Snape, then Sirius did. Snape was knocked to the ground and the spectators started laughing at him. Pettigrew was watching with a gleeful expression on his face and Remus was reading. How could he read with something like that going on right in front of him?_

_"I've had enough of them fighting! I'm going over there. You coming?" she asked, already starting to walk over. I just followed, a nonverbal 'yes'._

_*We got over as James yelled "__Scourgify!" at Snape, whose mouth immediately filled with pink bubbles._

_I could tell Lily had had enough._

_"Leave him ALONE!" she screamed at James. I noticed James automatically reached up to rumple his hair as he and Sirius looked over._

_"All right, Evans?" he asked, trying to sound older. It didn't seem to have a positive effect._

_"Leave him alone," my best friend repeated with contempt. She really hated him. "What's he done to you?"_

_"Well, it's more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean …" James answered, grinning when his response got a laugh from his audience._

_I shot a look at Sirius, who looked like he was enjoying the exchange, and shook my head. Sometimes there was no sense in him._

_Meanwhile, the argument was still going strong._

_"You think you're funny. But you're just an arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter. Leave him __alone."_

_"I will if you go out with me, Evans. Go on … go out with me and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again," James said, taking a chance._

_"I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the Giant Squid," Lily responded coldly. James never learned, did he?_

_Behind James, I saw Snape starting to crawl towards his wand._

_"Bad luck, Prongs. OI!" Sirius yelled._

_He'd clearly noticed Snape, too._

_Before anything could happen, Snape shot a nonverbal spell at James, who received a cut on his face. I felt angry. James was my friend, and he'd never tried to inflict injury on Snape!_

_James was always able to hold his own, however. A few seconds and a flash of light later, Snape was upside down in the air, robes falling over his head. All around, people started laughing again. I looked at Lily, whose lips twitched like she wanted to laugh along with them. I certainly did. But I'd decided to be on her side for this particular fight. I hid a grin._

_Lily's expression went back to anger. "Let him down!" she yelled._

_"Certainly," James replied, and did just that. Snape fell on the ground and, as soon as he got to his feet, Sirius said, "__Petrificus Totalus!" and we all saw the effect of the spell._

_Looking at Lily, I was surprised smoke didn't start pouring out of her ears in anger._

_"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" she shouted at her not-so-secret admirer._

_She really scared me sometimes. Especially when she was fuming mad at someone and had her wand pointed at them. If it was me that her anger was directed at, I would've backed down by now. I knew what she could do when she lost her temper._

_Clearly, James had the opposite reaction._

_"Ah, Evans, don't make me hex you," he said seriously._

_I looked at him in disbelief. No one messed with a livid Lily Evans._

_"Take the curse off him, then!" Lily yelled back. I felt like telling her to use her indoor voice. She was beginning to give me a headache from all her shouting._

_James complied and reversed the curse on Snape._

_"There you go," he said. "You're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus –"_

_"I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!"_

_I drew in a breath. He had crossed the line._

_I turned to Lily, who looked like she had seen a ghost – or more likely, the person Snape really was. She quickly overcame it, but I could still see the hurt and betrayal in her eyes._

_I couldn't blame her._

_"Fine. I won't bother in future. And I'd wash your pants if I were you, __Snivellus."_

_James was livid._

_"Apologize to Evans!" he roared at Snape, dangerously angry._

_"I don't want __you to make him apologize. You're as bad as he is," Lily shouted._

_Uh oh. Headache's back._

_"What? I'd NEVER call you a – you-know-what!"_

_"Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you've just got off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid Snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can – I'm surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK." Lily insulted him._

_I didn't say anything._

_Lily, done with the fight, walked away. She didn't look back, even when James called after her. I followed. She needed time to cool off before seeing either James or Snape again.*_

_I didn't say anything._

_"Rox, that was horrible. Severus … I can't believe it …" Lily started to cry, cutting off her words, as we walked._

_I couldn't find the words to say. She was in so much pain. So I let her cry, hugging her._

_I still didn't say anything._

_**_~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~_** _

_"…and by the time we got back to the dorms she was sobbing. Sobbing, Sirius! I can't believe Snape would do that. Well, I can believe that he would do that in general, just not to Lily! They were best friends! He was her first magical friend, and he betrayed her. She cared about him. Best friends … I am going to make Snape wish he'd never been born. Poor Lily." I took a breath, and Sirius decided to take that as a chance to get some words in._

_"We knew he was a scumbag. I'm not surprised he called her a –" – here he stumbled over the word- "– a you-know-what. He and his pack of Slytherin cronies call every Muggleborn that. James and I both think she's better off without him."_

_I gaped at him. "Excuse me? They were best friends! No one is 'better off' without their best friend. She balanced him out. He was kinder around her. Now he's going to be terrible, and she won't ever talk to him again. He meant so much to her. And you think this is a good thing?"_

_I was shocked, to say the least. I thought Sirius would feel bad about having a hand at causing this to happen. It was because he and James decided to attack Snape that the latter had called his former best friend a Mudblood!_

_"Kinder? Rox, you heard him. No kind person calls their so-called best friend the worst name imaginable. As for being terrible, well, he was always the worst excuse for a living person I've known. He's horrible with Evans or without her," Sirius argued._

_I could not believe him._

_"Why are you saying this? Snape pretty much broke Lily's heart, and you're almost supporting him. I know you're taking James' side, and I know James likes her – hell, __everyone knows James likes her! – but if he really did, he would want the best for her. He'd want her to be happy. And right now, Sirius, Lily is anything but happy."_

_"How did we get to the topic of James? Merlin, you're twisted. We were talking about how Snape is no good for Evans. James has nothing to do with that!"_

_Oh joy. Now we were yelling._

_"Sirius, James may not have everything to do with it, but he's a contributing factor. And Snape was good for Lily! Did you not hear what I said? They were friends for years, and one conversation wrecked that. A conversation that wouldn't have happened if Lily hadn't gone over to stop you guys from being mean to him!" Seriously, is he always this dense, or am I just figuring this out now?_

_But what he said next drove everything out of my mind, except for my anger._

_"Then Evans shouldn't have come over to stop it."_

_And he said it so calmly, scornfully, that I couldn't help but wonder: '__Who is this boy, and what happened to my best friend?'_

_I was so close to shouting at him. But I wouldn't. _

_"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" Whoops. Shouting. But I really didn't care anymore. "OF COURSE LILY WOULD HAVE TRIED TO STOP IT! HE WAS HER BEST FRIEND! SHE WAS SICK OF YOU AND JAMES ATTACKING HIM, SO SHE TRIED TO STOP YOU! JUST LIKE SHE ALWAYS DOES!" I was breathing hard, looking at Sirius incredulously. He knew Lily would have done what she did, and here he was, arrogantly ridiculing her actions. Actions that had been repeated however many times were necessary. He was picking now to do this? _

_"Shut up, Roxanna. Stop trying to defend Snape. You don't even like him, you never did! I don't understand why you're doing this." Sirius didn't look confused. He looked … haughty. Like he thought he was better than everyone._

_Better than me._

_"Don't you DARE tell me to shut up, Sirius Black! I can say whatever I like. And I'm going to. You're right, I've never liked him, but I'm defending him because you always do this. You always pick him to be the victim. And someday, that's going to come back to bite you in the arse."_

_My next few words would do so much more damage than I'd ever thought they could._

_"And … I'm not sure I want to be around you when that happens."_

_Sirius took in a breath shakily. Furiously._

_"You don't want to be around me. That means … that means you don't want to be my friend," He said, staring at me._

_I nodded, lowering my eyes. I couldn't think when he looked at me like that, much less say anything._

_"After all these years? After all we've been through together, you don't want to be friends anymore?"_

_Again, I nodded. This time, I held my head high. I was not going to shy away._

_"Fine. I don't, either."_

_I breathed out. I knew that Sirius could've gotten a whole lot worse._

_Then Sirius took the damage I did, and turned it into a disaster._

_"Why would I want to be friends with a Mudblood, anyway?" he sneered._

_I gasped. If Snape has crossed the line when he'd said that word to Lily, then Sirius had started fighting against his side. He knew what saying that could do. Our friendship had ended, and Sirius had pretty much made sure that it could never be reformed._

_And for the first time, Sirius actually looked like a Black. His heritage was shining through, strong and proud. I could not believe it had taken me this long to realize that this is who he was. He was born a Black, and he would always be a Black._

_For seven years, I had fallen for his act. Not anymore. I knew who he really was, and I was determined to make sure that he would never hurt me like this again._

_I turned away, not allowing even one tear to escape my eyes. Without looking back, I left. Just walked away from my former best friend. Now I knew how Lily had felt just two days before._

_Now I knew how it felt to have your heart broken, by the one person you would never have expected it from._

**Words that are spoken aloud inside the ** belong to JKR.**

**AN: Roxi's heart is broken. Poor her. Sirius is horrible, isn't he? Next chapter there'll be Sirius POV, so you can see how he's dealing with what he caused.  
>Review? They're like shining, golden stars … I mean the sticker kind, not the fiery ones that'll kill you. You can't kill me if you want more chapters, I'm the author of this fic!<strong>


	3. Life Goes On

**YES, this is a brand-spanking-new chapter. And an actual chapter at that, no backstories anymore. I quite like it, and I'm hoping you do too.  
>It's a bit later than I would have liked it to be out, but at least it's out, right? That's what's important.<br>Thanks to TWHATT18, Lgk, Sunnysideup, Mrs. 11****th**** (thanks for the sticker – but no murdering Sirius. I need him!), mrsblack, LadyOblivious, and Egad – I loved your review. It made me even more anxious for this to be written!  
>Onward!<strong>

_In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life:  
>It goes on.<em>

_**BWBWBWBWBWBWBWBWBWBWBWBW**_

"So, Rox. You ready for sixth year?" Lily asked me. I was talking to her over the phone two days before term was supposed to start. This wasn't a first for us, phoning each other. Since we were both Muggleborn, we both knew how normal technology worked.

"Yeah, I guess. Wait, I take that back. Yes. I'm ready to see you and start the classes. I'm ready to let James take over the Quidditch field again. I think. I'm just not ready to see … well, you-know-who." And I wasn't. I couldn't face Sirius. I hadn't spoken a word to him since we – for lack of a better term – broke up. Only it was different, because I wasn't one of his pathetic little girlfriends.

"I know how you feel, believe me," Lily sighed. She definitely did. We'd grown even closer in the aftermath of losing our best male friends, and become each other's very best friends.

"Can we talk about something even remotely cheerful? I can't handle the doom-and-gloominess," I said.

"Please," Lily answered. Then she giggled. "Let's talk about how in Merlin's name you managed to get an Exceeds Expectations on the Transfiguration OWL."

_**BWBWBWBWBWBWBWBWBWBWBWBW**_

I stepped outside with my dog, Astra, to take her for a walk. A five-year-old husky was bound to have a lot of energy. This was my last chance to do this, because I'd be on the Hogwarts Express this time tomorrow.

My sister Brooklyn, also a witch but two years younger than me, had wanted to take Astra out today. But I'd put my foot down, as she'd taken the dog nearly every day this summer.

As we walked, I enjoyed the sun on my face and Astra decided to bark 'hello' at every living being we passed. This included squirrels, chipmunks, other dogs, and humans.

I had gotten used to her just yelping once at everything when she let out a particularly loud bark and tried to run towards something. I looked over and a wave of coldness flooded through me.

It was Sirius.

I had tried to forget that he lived near me, just a couple blocks away in Grimmauld Place. But I had told myself that we weren't going to go anywhere near his house on our walk. Astra knew him, though. He'd been over at the house multiple times over the last few years. In fact, my mum and dad had asked why they hadn't seen him this past summer.

That had been an uncomfortable conversation.

They still didn't know what he said to me. All I'd told them was that we had differences and had ended our friendship. But they kept prodding and nosing until I'd gotten fed up and went to my room.

And now I was seeing the cause of my discomfort for the first time since we'd gotten off the train. I was worried that he'd try to talk to me; he had at school, and I just ignored him. But here we were, almost face to face, and I didn't want to cause a scene.

So I held my head high and tried to walk past him, but Astra had to ruin it. She jumped up on him and started licking.

"Hey, Astra! Down, girl. Good dog!" He grinned and bent down to her level, petting my dog.

He always was a dog person.

"Come, Astra. We have to get home," I said to her. I didn't want to be around that slime I used to call a friend for one more second. I tugged her leash and she had no choice but to follow.

We walked off, and surprisingly, Sirius didn't try to talk to me. A little ways on, I looked over my shoulder at him. He was just walking away.

That hurt more than it should have.

It meant things were permanently over between us. And I'd known that, but knowing it and seeing it are two completely different things.

I turned away and kept walking.  
><em><br>__**BWBWBWBWBWBWBWBWBWBWBWBW**__  
><em>

_Sirius POV_

"Regulus, are you ready to go back to Hogwarts? You've got all your things packed? Good," my mum, Walburga, pestered my little brother.

Better him than me. I hated my family, and it wasn't exactly a secret.

I heard my name being called and turned. My family tried not to talk to me unless it was to insult me, try to convince me to turn over to the Dark side, or blame me for something. Because in this house, just like Hogwarts, I let off steam by pranking.

"What?" I demanded. I didn't like talking to them either.

"You have all things necessary to go back to school?" Mum asked, obviously repulsed. She was basically screaming, 'blood traitor! Disgrace! Get out and don't come back!'

And I had every intention of doing just that.

"Yes. Now, I'm going for a walk," I answered. I turned and walked out, thinking.

The sun was streaming down on my face, but I ignored it to focus on the issues in my life.

**List of Issues in Sirius Orion Black's Life**

1. My ex-best friend hates me. Not like I could blame her. I called her a Mudblood! It was just in a moment of anger, and I immediately wanted to turn back time. But I couldn't, and as a result, I'd lost her and had no idea how to get her back.

2. My family hates me. This one I could get away from. I'd been going to James' a lot lately, quietly moving my stuff there. I was planning on staging a big runaway tonight. His family was totally okay with that; in fact, James and his dad came up with the idea! So today would be my last day in Grimmauld Place.

3. Girls. Inevitable for me. I had a reputation to uphold as a player. I got my most recent girlfriend, Heather (or was it Hannah?) on the very last day of school, on the train. She'd been writing almost obsessively to me over the summer, and I was going to break it off next time I saw her. Roxi didn't like it when I went from girl to girl carelessly, but they were so clingy! Like once they'd gotten me, they couldn't let go.

4. Still girls, but one in particular. Roxi. Yet again. I just couldn't get over the fact that I'd inadvertently lost one of the most important people in my life. She'd been with me since we were eight years old. We'd grown up together! I _really_missed her and it's only been two months. I had apologized so much, and I was not a guy who pined over someone. So I don't know how – or if – this was going to get any better.

Life sucks sometimes.

As I was brooding over all my issues, I heard a familiar bark. I looked up (I hadn't really been paying attention to where I was going) and who do I see but the source of my unhappiness. Roxi and her beloved husky, Astra.

I may not be speaking to Rox at the moment, but I'd always loved Astra. I helped name her! And unbeknownst to Roxi or her family, I sometimes transformed into my Animagus and played games with their dog. Better company than my family any day.

"Hey, Astra! Down, girl. Good dog!" I said laughingly, trying to get her down. When she did, I bent down to pet her. I saw Roxi stiffen out of the corner of my eye and felt some pain in my heart. Under normal circumstances, we'd have started talking, and I'd probably end up walking home with her. Not this time, though.

"Come, Astra. We have to get home," Rox said, tugging lightly on her dog's leash. Astra was an obedient dog, and followed her owner. I watched her walk away, hoping she'd turn back. No such luck.

_Okay, then._ I clearly wasn't going to get a word out of her. That hurt even worse than the earlier thing. I started back on my way. I wasn't going to turn back again.

_**BWBWBWBWBWBWBWBWBWBWBWBW**_

_Roxi POV_

"No matter how many times I run through that wall, I keep thinking I'm going to break my nose or something," my fourteen-year-old sister, Brooklyn, said. I looked at her, then at my parents, and we all simultaneously rolled our eyes. All I could think was, '_how on earth are we related?_'

If you looked at me and Brooklyn, you could definitely tell we were sisters. We both had the same ski-jump nose, same shape of eyes (mine were light blue, hers were kind of dark gray-ish), same bow-shaped light red lips. Our faces were almost identical (except for her bucket load of freckles – I had none), but she had wavy black hair that she loved to put into complicated designs. My straight dark brown hair usually stayed that way unless I put it up for Quidditch, or my friends attacked me with hair curling spells or worse – accessories.

The similarities between us ended with our looks.

Brooklyn was a total, maniacal, girly freak. Her favourite colour was pink, and it was visible on _everything_ that belonged to her. Her room at home looked like a pink bomb had gone off. Pink bedspread, pillows, frilly rug, chair; hell, even the canopy over her bed was pink! She had figured out ways to incorporate the colour into all her clothes as well. And she didn't play Quidditch. She'd watch, drooling over the boys, but that was the closest she ever got to the pitch.

She had a pack of girls that were the same as her. Third and fourth year Hufflepuff, third year Gryffindor, and all the fourth year Ravenclaw girls, her House. Slightly boy crazy, pink freaks, and the Ravenclaws were the only bright ones of the bunch, but I will admit my sister managed to get good marks. They called themselves the Pink Posse. I tried my hardest to stay away from them.

Now me, I was nothing like her. My favourite colours were purple and black (I hate the colour pink); I had posters of Quidditch players and wizard rock bands all over my walls (Brooklyn had Muggle actors). If Brook even got a speck of mud on herself she'd scream; I lived for those mud dives. I had guy friends, but no boy in his right mind would try to infiltrate her little clique for fear of being KBP – killed by pink. I had a short, quick temper and a huge attitude; she was Little Miss Sunshine. Unless she thought she would die (or break a bone - I'd broken my wrist and ankle playing Quidditch).

We were the farthest things from each other on the planet, but we somehow managed to get along.

Unlike _someone_ and his little brother.

"Brookie, have I ever told you you're paranoid?" I laughed as we walked towards the Express.

"Only about five hundred thirty-seven times," she answered.

"Then let's make this five hundred thirty-eight," I grinned.

"Rox_iiii_. You're so – hi, Melissa! Sorry Rox, gotta go. Bye mum, dad. I'll see you at Christmas! Love you!" she called, running off to her Posse. I turned to mum, who was shaking her head and chuckling.

"She has the attention span of Sirius sometimes," Mum mused. "Speaking of Sirius, he's staring at you."

_What?_

"Sirius isn't staring at me, mum. He has no reason to – we're not friends. You know that," I said, shaking my head. I wasn't about to look over and give life to that nonsense. No way was that … that … _idiot_looking at me.

"All I know is that you two, after eight years, stopped being friends. You haven't told me why, and as your mum I'd like to know," she told me.

"Look, I will tell you, but … it's just too soon. He hurt me, mum. Not physically," I hastened to say after I saw the murderous expression on her face. "Emotionally. I'll tell you the rest later. Christmas, maybe?"

She was clearly on the verge of making me say what happened right then and there, but then dad came back from talking to a family he knew – don't ask me how he knows them. I have no idea.

"Lauren, are you all right?" Dad asked mum. It really was visible, how much she wanted to know.

"Yes, I'm fine." She looked at the clock on the wall. "It's 10:55, Rox. You'd better get on the train. Lord knows what would happen if you missed it!" she laughed. It had nearly happened to Brookie two years ago. She'd gotten on at _exactly_10:59, just a second before the whistle blew. I haven't stopped bugging her about it since. I wonder what would happen if someone missed it. No way would someone be as dense as to actually miss the train.

"Yes, mum," I joked. "Love you! Bye, dad!"

"We'll see you at Christmas! Write us when you get there!" Mum yelled as I jogged off. This was her mantra _every single freaking year_. I loved her, but you'd think I'd know by now, right?

I decided it was easier for me not to respond, or I'd say to her what I just said to you. And trust me; she wouldn't like it.

Hopping on the train, I knew right away to search for Lily. We'd made plans to meet in a compartment; now it was just a matter of finding the one with her in it.

Where, oh where, was Lily Evans?

I started down the corridor as the Express started its engine, and felt it lurch as I walked. I don't know if you've ever walked or been standing when a train started, but it's a weird feeling. Anyway, I was reminded a lot of first year. I'd done this exact thing six years ago today. Only difference was, I was looking for Lily, not S-Black. I was not looking for Black.

Shaking it off, I looked in a random compartment. Lo and behold, there she was! I'm never this lucky! Someone must have decided to be nice to me today.

Thank you, mystery nice person. I'll buy you a Chocolate Frog if I ever meet you.

I'd barely entered before a flash of red was all I saw, and then felt something squeezing the life out of me.

"Roxiiiiii!" Lily greeted me after I'd regained the red in my face.

"Hey, red. Working on a python squeeze? Guess that's one way to kill James. But why would you try it out on me first? I'm supposed to be your friend!" I responded, cracking my wrists _(see _**AN**_ after reading)_. It grossed her out when I did that, so it was payback.

"So I'm happy to see you! Sue me!" she laughed, sitting down across from me.

"I have a story for you."

"Ooh, already? Spill."

"Yesterday I was walking Astra, when I accidentally ran into Sirius Black," I started. But this amazing storyteller (yours truly) was interrupted by the loudest gasp she'd ever heard.

"Really, Lily? I was one sentence in!" I complained.

"Sorry, sorry. But the last day of break and you have to see him? No wonder you're moodier today," she told me. Hey! I'm no moodier today than I was yesterday!

Okay, bad example. But still!

"If you're finished …" I gave her my signature look that means 'stop talking _now _before you get us in trouble'. She shut up.

Off topic, but can you believe Lily says being in trouble or expelled is worse than death? I sometimes think she's an alien from Jupiter. It would explain a lot.

"Anyway, I ran into Black. He completely ignored me, but went all mushy over my dog. My dog! So I pull the poor doggy away from him and we start on our way back. And I know you said I should get over the friendship, and I've really been trying to, but I thought 'maybe one last look back wouldn't hurt' and turn very briefly. And the idiot is just walking away. Like I didn't matter. I guess I don't matter to him, since he called me that and essentially ruined our bond, but really! You'd think the guy would feel _some_ remorse for what he did to me. But no. He's an unfeeling, womanizing _jerk _who doesn't _care_about what he does to others," I ranted. Man, that felt good. I should really do that more often.

"Aw, nice to see you too, Rox."

Oh. My. Merlin.

I turned very slowly in my seat to see all the Marauders staring at me, Black in the front.

**AN: Hi! So, I've been sick lately. There's a bug going around that I caught. That's no excuse for this being out late. Neither is being busy, which I was. You know, I should have written this when I was sick at home all by myself. But I watched Switched at Birth, this ABC Family show, on YouTube instead. I live in Canada; it doesn't come on here. If anyone watches it and loves it like I do, you'll understand. (Emmett+Bay FTW!)**

**The wrist-cracking thing that Roxi does? I gave her that because I can do it. Both my wrists are freakily-jointed and I enjoy grossing people out with it. Funny story, actually; my science teacher last year, who can dissect a cow heart no problem, hates watching me crack my wrists. It freaks her out. I haven't met anyone who can do it, so if you have some freaky double-jointed ligament in your body, let me know. Maybe in a review?**


	4. Ignorance Is Bliss

…**So.**

**Hey, guys. I'm alive! No abandonment, I promise, just super-busy. I am so incredibly sorry that this wasn't out sooner. Who hates/hated high school? *raises hand and looks around at others*. Me too. So much pressure and homework, and my best friend got me into **_**Glee**_** and **_**AVPM**_**. You can imagine how much of my life has been taken up by that. (Chris Colfer, Darren Criss, Joe Walker, and Lauren Lopez are amazing!)**

**I'll save my spiels for the end, because I'm sure you'd love to read a new chapter after two months. Wow, it's been that long? Again, **_**so**_** sorry!**

**Disclaimer – No. I do not own Harry Potter. If I did, then Fred would've lived and Dramione would be real. Sirius wouldn't have died and Harry wouldn't have lost Dobby or Hedwig. Did those things happen? No. Plus, I would've had to write the first book at age 2. Not possible.**__

_Be concerned with your character, not your reputation. Your reputation is what others think of you, and your character is who you really are.___

_Sirius POV_

"… I guess I don't matter to him, since he called me that and essentially ruined our bond, but really! You'd think the guy would feel _some_ remorse for what he did to me. But no. He's an unfeeling, womanizing _jerk_ who doesn't _care_ about what he does to others," I heard a voice say. I felt fury rising up in me – I knew this voice, knew it better than most.

Roxi was complaining about me.

How the hell could she know my emotions? She didn't know how much I wished I hadn't said that!

I was in front of my friends, so they had no choice but to follow me. I stopped in the doorway of Roxi and Lily's compartment. I decided to freak her out, but for once it wasn't for fun. I was angry.

"Aw, nice to see you too, Rox," I sneered. She turned, and her face went white. I had a feeling I knew what she was thinking.

_'Oh, no. He caught me.'_

We stared at each other, neither of us breaking. Me mockingly, her icily. She'd gotten over her momentary shock and held her own. She'd always been able to do this, and I usually admired her for it. Not now, however.

"Lilykins! How was your summer, you dazzling blossom?" James exclaimed, ruining my glare-contest with Roxi.

"Amazing, because you weren't around me for two whole months, Potter," Lily said frostily. Roxi grinned at what Lily had said, then mouthed _'Sorry'_ to James.

"Cold, Evans, really. I suppose you'll have to let us stay here to make it up to us. Right, Prongs?" I asked. What I was trying to do was annoy both girls at the same time. It appeared to be working because Lily gave me an incredulous look that clearly said 'NO!' Roxi wasn't looking at me (surprise, surprise) but was frowning at the floor.

"Yes! C'mon Lily, you owe me," James cheered. He was my best friend, my brother by everything but blood, but I couldn't figure out why he was eternally happy. Even when Lily Evans turned him down.

"I owe you nothing, Potter. I know you and Roxi are friends, but I'm putting my foot down. You are not staying here the whole train ride," said girl replied.

"Friends? This girl is like my sister. She won't let you be mean to me, will you, Roxanna?" James asked, looking at my ex-best friend with puppy dog eyes. We all knew she could never say no to him when he did that. Lily actually groaned, practically admitting defeat. But he really shouldn't have called her Roxanna.

Maybe she wouldn't let us stay. I was included in this, and she despised me with all her heart. Which really hurt.

"Fine. But don't annoy Lily too much, and do _not_ call me _Roxanna_!" She was mad at him for that.

"Sorry, I slipped up. Thank you, Roxi-bear!" That was his pet name for her. She sighed; she didn't like this name much either, but let it slide with a sigh.

We all sat down – James beside Lily, and me beside him. Remus and Peter, who'd both been awfully quiet during this whole exchange, sat down on either side of Roxi. Remus shrugged and opened his book while Peter fell asleep, leaving just the four of us.

You could practically feel the awkward emanating from everyone.

"Well, this isn't uncomfortable or anything. Two – three, really – sets of best friends, two sets of people who hate each other – or, one set of haters and one love/hate relationship. Who wants to talk Quidditch? I know Roxi does. Roxi!" James yelled suddenly. Moony, Lily and I jumped a bit. Roxi was really the only one who was used to his random outbursts.

"Jamesie! What about Quidditch?" she grinned in retaliation. He didn't like that name.

"You, my superb, awesome, star Chaser –"

"Stop embarrassing me, Potter, I'm also modest," Roxi interrupted him. I snorted, which won me a fierce look.

What I'd wanted, more than anything, was those stunning blue eyes looking at me. Happily or furiously. I'd take what I could get for as long as I could.

"What? You are the least modest person I have the displeasure of knowing, especially when it comes to sky skills," I told her scornfully. James and Lily both eyed me warningly. Neither wanted Roxi to get hurt even worse. She was turned fully toward me now, glaring so hard I was surprised she hadn't burnt me.

"Displeasure, huh? And I hope you weren't including yourself in that, Black. You're always going on about being such a ladies' man, a player, a –" I cut her off.

"An unfeeling, womanizing jerk who doesn't care about what he does to others?" I asked her, hurt bubbling up in me. Hearing her call me Black tore me. But I was going to keep making her feel inferior. This is how I dealt with my feelings – I make someone else feel bad. It helps me vent. 

"C'mon, Traynor, isn't that what I overheard you call me? Word for word? Most people would describe me as devastatingly handsome," I said as haughtily as I could, using her last name. Instead of hurting her feelings, she rolled her eyes at my _'devastatingly handsome'_ remark.

"Only in your world, Black. So James, what were you saying about Quidditch?" Roxi asked James, determinedly changing the subject. James looked kind of worried, but answered her nonetheless.

I couldn't tell who'd won that argument – all I knew is that we'd both upset the other.

I was supposed to hate her now, so why couldn't I feel good about this?

_Roxi POV_

I listened to James' ramblings about Quidditch without paying attention. That conversation with S–_Black_ had really quite wounded my ego, not to mention put a serious dent in my feelings, but there was no way in this universe I was going to make that known to him. I looked over at Remus; he was just looking at his book, his eyes unmoving. I could tell he was processing my argument with Black.

"ROXI. Are you listening to me?" James exploded. Whoops. He didn't much appreciate being ignored. But I was a truthful human being. So I gave him the complete truth:

"No, I wasn't."

Black snorted again, softly. I chose to ignore this one. I turned back to an upset James Potter and said, "Just tell me along with the rest of the team, Mr Captain."

His eyes softened. "I guess I could. I'm going to work you guys even harder this year! We're going to win again, I know it!" He was all excited, because he had captained us to victory against Slytherin last year.

Black must have been growing uncomfortable, because he suddenly stood up and said, "I'm going to get food." He crossed over to Peter and shook him awake. "Want to come with me to get food?" he asked. Peter Always-Hungry Pettigrew nodded sleepily and went to stand by the door.

"Moony, Prongs, Evans, you want anything?" he inquired, intentionally leaving me out.

I knew he acted like a five year old sometimes, but really? He's sixteen!

"Cauldron Cake, Padfoot?" James asked. Black nodded.

"No thanks, Black, but maybe ask Roxi?" Lily suggested. _Go Lily!_ This is why she's my bestie!

Black shut his eyes tightly, then reluctantly turned to face me completely.

"Want anything, Ro–Traynor?" We both caught his slip. I could have milked that, but before I could, he said, "I mean, if you want to have anything that I could have poisoned."

I gave him a sweet smile.

"Go to hell, Black. And while you're there, get me a Chocolate Frog!"

He started towards me, but I raised my eyebrow and motioned for him to get out. And he actually did what I said, taking Rat-Boy with him.

"A Cauldron Cake, James? You like them so much, I swear any kid you have is going to be obsessed with them too!" Remus exclaimed. I grinned. This was true.

Another reason I was grinning?

Roxi – 1, Black – 0.

**BWBWBWBWBWBWBWBWBWBWBW**

"Rox, I swear, if you ever let them sit with us again without my permission I will find the worst hex I can and cast it on you!"

In case you couldn't tell, ladies and gentlemen, that was the lovely Miss Lily Evans.

"I'm sorry, Lils, I really am. But you'd think by now you would've been used to James asking you out!" I told her as we sat down near the front of the table. Yes, we were Marauder-free or Lily wouldn't have said that. She has manners; I usually act like I've never heard of the word.

"I am used to it. Not that I like it, because that means he's done it much too often, but he tried to kiss me!"

I stifled a giggle. That'd been really funny and quite cute too. James had leaned in for a kiss when Lily turned to say something to him, and she'd turned around in horror so he got her cheek. He was happy about at least kissing her, and she was traumatized.

I'm never letting her forget it.

"It's not that big of a deal, Red. We all found it adorable! Although," I said thinkingly, "there definitely were some who found it awkward. Wait, no, just you."

"Roxi," Lily said, "that was not enjoyable. Not at all." I snorted in amusement before she said, "that'd be like Black trying to kiss you."

My mood suddenly shifted into black-hole-terrifying mode.

"Lily Patricia Evans, I thought we discussed this. No mention of Sirius Freaking Black until his or our dying days, whichever comes first," I growled at her. He'd royally pissed me off. Even a mention of the _stars_ that he was named after was forbidden territory.

"And _I_ thought we'd discussed calling me by my actual name, Roxanna. When did Patricia become my middle name?" she asked, changing the subject.

"First off, no Roxanna! Secondly," I added after I saw her smirk (I was trying not to laugh now myself – my moods change in the blink of an eye sometimes), "I randomly came up with a name. I didn't have time to think of your actual full name when I was brilliantly rebutting your unbelievable argument."

"What's my full name, Roxi dear?" she sang to me, grinning.

"Well, it's Lily James-Potter's-Future-Wife Evans, of course!" James unexpectedly sang back, plopping down beside me. I held in a giggle as Lily's expression became stormy.

"I thought I asked _Roxi_, Potter, not you. Where's the rest of your posse?" she asked, seeing he was alone. "I suggest you find them and leave the two of us in peace."

"But Lily, where's the fun in that?" James pouted. I laughed and patted him on the head. "Besides, I don't need to look for them. They're right here."

I prayed James was joking, but my hopes were dashed when I heard an unwelcome voice on my other side. "That's right, we're here. And we're not leaving until my stomach is full."

"Black, you and I both know that that will never happen," I said to him without turning.

"Then that means I'm never leaving, doesn't it Rox?" he answered. I could hear the grin clear in his voice. He's always loved annoying me, but now he's doing it purposefully. _Why_ can't he just leave me alone?

"If you two are done squabbling, Dumbledore's about to talk," Remus said pointedly as I opened my mouth to say something _very_ rude in response. I decided to love that boy right then and there for ending it before we started a screaming match.

We all quieted down – Sirius with much sighing and elbowing me, which I ignored – and waited for Dumbledore to start his yearly speech. I'd heard it five times before, so I decided it was all right to tune out.

I didn't understand Sirius. I never fully had, but this was just all too bizarre. Sirius was a hit-and-run (or in his case, brag) type of person; when he disliked someone he played one mean prank that embarrassed them in front of the whole school and left it at that. The exceptions were Snape, who was the target of almost all the Marauders' attacks, and me. He just wouldn't leave me alone!

I suppose it's because I am, technically, an honorary Marauder. I'm still best friends with James, who's like my brother and is fiercely protective of me. He doesn't like how Sirius and I aren't friends anymore. Sirius probably wouldn't want to mess with me for fear of jeopardizing his friendship with James. I smiled wickedly. I could do whatever I wanted to Sirius with no fear of retaliation. Oh, the things I could get away with …

"I thank you for listening to an old man's spiel and, without further ado, you may feast!" I heard Dumbledore exclaim. This was my favourite part of the first day – the food magically appearing. I wasn't disappointed.

"Oooh food!" I squealed, taking some of everything but the vegetables. The house elves are gods in disguise, I swear!

"Charming, Rox. Gonna leave any for the rest of us?" a sneering Sirius inquired. I ignored him and whispered to Lily, "What do you think Sirius will do if I take all the food away from him?"

"He's going to think you're very childish," Lily whispered back. I snorted ungracefully and answered Lily's disgusted, questioning face in my normal voice. "The king of immaturity will think _I'm_ childish? Can you say 'hypocritical'?"

"I can say it but I doubt you can spell it, Trixie," a high-pitched feminine voice said from the table behind. I let out an internal groan. Santana.

"Listen, Satan – oops, Santana –" I was interrupted by a giggle from Lily and was that a chuckle from Sirius? Must've been James. "I don't give a damn what you say. So back. Off."

"Ooh, not very nice, are we? I merely commented on something I overheard. So Sirius, how was your summer? Did you miss me?" the blonde-haired she-demon tittered.

"It wasn't bad, thanks," he responded. I was shocked; we both hated her, with a passion. She kept trying to ask him out, like he did with so many other girls. He never dated her both for my sake and his. No one in their right mind could put up with her except Brielle, her best friend. We rarely talked to her except to insult her. What was he _doing_?

"Aw, that's nice. I had a good one too. Listen," she lowered her voice and ran her fingers over his arm while I repressed a shudder, "what would you say to taking a walk with me after dinner? We can go round the lake and just … chat."

No way. He wouldn't. Not in a billion _freaking_ years. She knows that! Why is she –

"Yeah, sure, that sounds cool. Meet me in the hallway after?" he asked. It took all my strength not to grab his shoulders and shake some sense into him. I looked at everyone else and they were all staring at him, mouths gaping open. This wasn't a pretty sight in James' case because he had partially-eaten food in his.

"Oh, uh, yes! Definitely. Can't wait," she said, attempting seductiveness. I was just attempting not to gag.

"Yep." And with that, Sirius turned back around and started eating again. He looked up from the chicken leg he was consuming and saw all of our expressions. Forced confusion spread across his face as he swallowed and said, "What?"

"You … you … Sirius, you _hate_ that girl," James sputtered.

"Oh, I can think of a girl I hate more," Sirius said spitefully, looking at me for a fraction of a second.

"Okay, but Padfoot, you've 'hated' –" here James used air quotes, "Roxi just since the end of last year. You've hated Santana for _years_! Why now?" he asked, genuinely confused.

Oh, man. If Sirius didn't tell James something like that then there would be no way I'd know. What's he up to?

"Who says I despised Santana?" Sirius asked the table in general. We – the Marauders plus Lily and I – looked at each other and simultaneously exclaimed, "YOU!"

Sirius and I have had contests where we see who can come up with the worst insult to throw at the girl! We used to trip her in the hallways or when she was walking to her seat in the classes we shared! I would've bet my wand six months ago that he hated her with all his heart – actually, six months is accurate, because that's when Santana broke my wrist in the Gryffindor/Ravenclaw Quidditch game which I'm proud to say we won.

"Maybe I've liked her for a while and have been trying to hide it from all of you because I saw this coming, ever think of that?" Sirius asked us.

I could tell he was trying to trick us. We may not be friends anymore, but we were for eight years. I know that boy inside and out. He was going to annoy the hell out of me until he was satisfied or until I apologized. Which will never happen! But this was apparently step two in his 'strategy'. Step one had happened on the train, something that I _really_ wish hadn't happened, because it'd been so awkward.

"I seriously doubt that, Pads. You let us know about all your victims; _sorry_, girls or soon-to-be girls! Even if you hadn't told Roxi, you would've told James or me," Remus shot back. Yes, I knew someone had a good argument! I also appreciated the comment about the victims. Remus Lupin, this is why you are so totally awesome!

"You know what? Fine. I'm dropping the fight. But Santana's hot, you can't disagree. Why not go after her? She's into me, so I'll get some fun out of this," Sirius said with anger but amusement (at the prospect, probably) clear in his voice.

"Shut up, Black. You don't care about Santana – frankly, I don't blame you – but you always do this! I don't care if it's her or Brielle or some random Hufflepuff or _Lily_, for Merlin's sake! You need to stop treating girls as if they're disposable, because some already have low self-esteem. I'm pretty sure at least two girls have pitched themselves off the Astronomy Tower because you dumped them – humiliatingly, I might add. I was right before, on the train. You're awful and can be a right arse, you know that? Go do what you want with Santana, but don't yell at me if you break up with her and she becomes an emotional wreck entirely because of you!" I shouted.

I was stunned by what I just did. I'd stood up sometime during my rant – don't remember doing that, but okay. Dramatic effect. I'd silenced Sirius, which was my intention, but I'd also silenced the whole Great Hall.

Sirius looked at me with rage and – was that pain? – in his eyes, then stood up and stormed out of the room. Santana glared at me and followed him. I couldn't believe her! After all that, she _still_ wants to date him! Merlin, the girl's both desperate _and_ ignorant!

Just as I was about to go after her, McGonagall appeared in front of me. Oh, joy. Well, if I was going to be in trouble, I may as well add some more.

"Traynor. That was completely out of line! What do you have to say for yourself?"

"Oh hey, Professor! Didn't realize I was so loud! Sorry about that, it was meant for Black. But good life lesson, right?" I asked.

"I think we all noticed that it was meant for Black. And as necessary as that might have been, now was not the right time or place. Detention, tomorrow night, with me," she told me. Detentions weren't new to me, so I nodded and sat back down as she went to the High Table.

"Wow, Rox, I think that's a record. Not even Sirius or I have gotten a detention that quickly. I bow to your superiority," James said, addressing me with mock awe.

"You should do that every day, Jamesie. I'm easily better than most people," I joked, but cringed when I heard a wounded voice across from me saying just two words: "Roxi, why?"

"I'm sorry, Lils, I've just wanted to say that for a really long time. I finally got my chance! You can't be mad at me," I tried to explain.

"Oh, I'm not mad exactly. I just think we need to work on your attitude and how you use it."

"Please. I don't have an attitude. I just have a sassy vocabulary!" I laughed.

"_Sure_," Lily giggled. "Now come on, it's time to get the first years to the Tower. You helping?" she asked me, like she had last year. James waved and left for the dorms with Remus and Peter in tow.

"Yeah, sure," I agreed. I had nothing better to do. Besides, this could be fun!

"Hey tykes! First years! Come over here and we'll take you upstairs!" I shouted. The poor munchkins looked terrified, but complied. I grinned. I was right!

"Rox, you don't need to scare the kids into submission, you know." Lily sighed as she directed everyone to follow us.

"Oh, I know. It just works better and it's fun!" I responded, earning a groan. Lily told the tiny beings to keep up, and I let my mind wander to Sirius. I wondered if he had actually listened to me, or was at least caring about what I had to say. Whatever. I just hoped he would go easier on the poor girls. But, Santana could easily whip him into line if he got to be too much to bear.

I can't wait to see how this relationship works out.

**Long chapter to make up for lost time? Yeah, I'm writing and it's one in the morning right now. I'm tired so that wasn't a great ending, but I needed one. It's almost ten pages long! Proud of myself!**

**As I was saying earlier about Glee, I now love it. I think Kurt Hummel is amazing and I want to meet both Chris Colfer and Darren Criss. I think Klaine is the best thing to ever happen to TV. But I wanted to say something – I didn't come up with the name Santana to put in my fic. I wanted names, so I asked my best friend (Taylor) to suggest some. She gave me Santana. I liked it. So I used it. That's all … now reviews would be appreciated, even if they're just to say how mad you are! I need responses!**


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